Sex Won't Sell This

Sex is used to sell everything from perfume to cheeseburgers. Abercrombie & Fitch practically have nude men at the cash wrap. I met a photographer to shoot an ad campaign and the meeting went waaayy left. He seemed very legit...nice studio, expensive lights and cameras, and no prom backgrounds. I explained my concept and what I expected from him and he seemed completely on board. He even offered to do a couple of test shoots of me. I wanted to see for myself how he works behind the camera so I agreed. All was well until he asked if I would be comfortable with semi-nude pictures-"like with your top off in front of you?" I'm selling t-shirts!!! This is not a campaign for PETA. There is no need for anyone to to get naked. I declined and his response was "It's ok. A lot of women are uncomfortable with their bodies." Hold up. Who said anything about being uncomfortable about their body? I embrace the skin I'm in everyday. I even dance naked in the mirror often. I explained to him (as I grabbed my purse) that I'm all for selling sexy not sex. I can be sexy in a wool turtleneck or a garbage bag if I have the confidence to own it. I feel bad for the women and men who think sexy has to be thong underwear, spread-eagle, and oiled up. Needless to say the only thing he shot me was the bird as I stormed out and called him a perv.

What's In A Last Name

Some girls scribbled their name with their boyfriend's last name all over their notebooks in school. Not me. I've never really put any thought into changing my last name. Not because of what it stands for, passing on the father's name and all. Just because I like the way it sounds. Mendenhall. I was always the only person in school who had the last name. It's something about being unique. My family names are as common as they come-Smith and Bennett. But with so many of my friends getting married I haven't gotten use to seeing their husband's last name. To hyphen or not to hyphen? Do I go by Mrs. (insert husband's name) on my checks, hmmm? Call me silly but I've always hoped I wouldn't get married to a man with the surname of Knuckles, Burger, or Crack. (No offense) I could only imagine the jokes that my kids would endure. I would never make it an issue though. I figure if I love him enough (and the ring is big enough) I'd change my name to Crap. But that's Mrs. Crap to you.

A Little Ribbon Goes A Long Way

Frugal, economic, cheap. Call it what you will but I hate spending money when I don't need to. Where there's money to be made there's money to be saved. Adding touches here and there can reinvent something old into new. Fabric stores, thrift shops, and craft stores will become your new go-to-spots. One spool of ribbon ($3.99 and up) has more uses than just pigtails and gifts.

Choose a coordinating ribbon for a pair of wedges for a new touch.  Criss-cross the ribbon under a great pair of heels or just tie the ribbon around your ankles for added flare.

Ribbons can also be used to make trendy hair accessories. Pop into a craft store for a few feathers or rhinestones. Hot glue them along the ribbon and you have an inexpensive hairband.

Ribbons can be used around the house as well. They make great trims along picture frames and lamp shades. Lamp shades can often be insanely expensive. Purchase a plain, solid colored lamp shade or restyle one from around the house. One-inch satin ribbon can add a modern touch without spending a fortune.
 

Chia Chia Chia Cheetah

So the super cute trend right now is animal print. This busy pattern can turn a boring outfit into something "wild" and sophisticated. However this trend can go way wrong! The key to this trend is...don't over do it. Animal print leggings can be paired with an over sized sweater or tee, cute ballet flats or platform heels and you're done. This print looks great on it's own and adding additional over the top accessories or too much animal print can distract the look. (If you get harpooned it's not my fault.) If leggings or tops are out of your comfort zone simply try a scarf, belt, or shoes. These pieces can be used with other items in your wardrobe for an extra punch without looking like you just came from safari. This print can go from daytime to night easily as well. Pair the scarf with a classic pencil skirt for the office and save the leggings for the club. Fashion is meant to be fun so enjoy.

When Ahhh Turns Into Ohhh Really?

 I know plenty of deadbeat fathers (and mothers). I'm a product of one-the father in my case. I'm not bragging or boasting (who would)-it just is what it is. My situation isn't a sob story or rare. Unfortunately it seems to be normal. However I could never put my baby into any of these onesies. I would prefer people not impose their rachetnesss onto children. The truth is there is a market for this kind of crap business. I've watched Maury more times than I care to admit. He's made trashy people big business. Who knew you could turn loose, sexually irresponsible people into a talk show 3 times a week? I never pick sides but the audience always seems to boo before the dude can even get down the steps. And I always have that "You are so dumb" look on my face when the girl takes off running when Maury says you are NOT the father. I don't know what's more embarrassing, the fact that you said you were a 1000% sure or that you thought airing your business on national television was a good idea? Guys are just as guilty. On the show she's everything but a child of God but she was alright to smash at one time? And I always vote for a vasectomy when the guy says something so stupid like "That baby ain't got my ears or my lips." SYAD. Then you find out ole girl isn't the first to fall for the okie doke. He has 4 other baby mommas. Both of you are really dumb! But jokes aside maybe I could sell these onesies in the Maury gift shop? Just joking, but no not really.

"Reality" Ruined Real Life

 I saw a little girl (maybe 11 or 12) wearing a t-shirt that read "future reality star." Normally I love to see slogans on t-shirts (Halos & Harlots) but this one made me SMH. Since when has becoming a reality star been a career goal? Oh yeah when Kate Gosselin made $250,000 per episode for Jon & Kate +8 or Snooki made $30,000 per episode for The Jersey Shore. Gone are the days when kids said they wanted to be lawyers or doctors when they grew up. Even teachers!!! But reality stars? Geez. And Kim Kardashian is the queen of the fame whores reality stars. She made $6 million in endorsements alone. Uh for what...she's fun to look at but take that away and what does she really have? I can't hear you over the symphony of crickets and tumbleweeds. Now her and her sisters are pushing silly bandz-a product directed towards kids. When did it become ok for a woman who drops trou ever 5 seconds to start hawking products directed towards the youth? I know it's a parent's responsibility and all to guide their kids blah, blah, blah but there are stupid susceptible teenagers out there who may think the only ticket to fame and fortune is a sex tape or embarrassing their entire family tree on national television. I guess we (society) has made it easy to choose- $30,000 per episode on MTV or $35,000+ a year as a police officer? A Grammy or a Nobel Peace Prize? I've never seen Liu Xiabo on the cover of 5 mags at the checkout. (He's last years Nobel Laureate. I only know that because I proofread a kid's school project.) Maybe I'm reading to deep into a kid's wardrobe but the next time you see a little girl sticking her butt out and going HAM for attention you'll say hmmm.

Who Thinks This Is Okay? Maybe I'm Sensitive.

I didn't have to take a sensitivity training class to spot something offensive. I think most people know racism or inappropriate when they see or hear it. The question is...where is the line between funny and those are fighting words? I guess somethings are true, anything to make a buck but at who's expense. I personally don't take a lot of things to heart. I believe in freedom of speak even if it differs from my own. However I'm not ok with offending an entire race or culture.  As an owner of a graphic t-shirt business I often wonder if any of my graphics will offend anyone. Certain topics are taboo for me. Religion. Race. Disabilities. I won't go there just to sell a t-shirt. There's already plenty of websites that have gone there and brought back the t-shirt to prove it. But am I a hypocrite because I think it's okay to make light of age, sex, or the size of a man's package nether region? IDK? I try my best to create t-shirts that make people laugh. The real test is did you laugh at the graphics above? Did you say "Hell Nah" to at least 3 of them? Are you going to search the internet to buy 1 of them? If you said yes to the last one I hope it's not the "Nappy Headed Hoes" tee for my your sake.